So, the closing went as smoothly as a closing can… the week in the hotel was plain out awful, the room sucked, my poor Collies got fleas there! My girls had never had fleas before in their lives, either. I purchased a used RV to live in, kind of too quickly cause it definitely has issues… but, the girls and I are parked in Spring & Bill’s front yard – with their flirtatious landlord’s permission, too. The girl’s stress level is beginning to level out, although they do get a bit nervous when I have to leave for a bit… they’re not getting enough exercise, either, with my sedate walking. Bill suggested I look into an actual camper and I have been, actually. A camper is slightly roomier compared to an RV; currently the girls and I trip over one another, a lot, especially if it comes with a slider.

I haven’t paid my credit cards in full, but have paid them down considerably; all of my former utilities are paid in full, of course. I outright own the RV and don’t pay rent, although I will be paying the larger portion of Spring & Bill’s electric bill to help them out, and I paid their internet bill – even though the speed is slower than molasses… hopefully, Xfinity will be installed on Friday the first. I have the lion’s portion of my house profit in a savings account, with several thousand dollars set aside for bill paying, too. I have refunds from my escrow account and house insurance coming yet, too. If I can get into a decent camper where I’m not tripping over my girls – two and four legged varieties – sometime soon-ish, I told Spring I could probably stay in her backyard for an indefinite time period, saving money to add to my savings and helping her out.

I completed another couple of reviews, although I’d actually read around five books during my time in the hotel. It took some time to upload them to the various sites… I also bought myself a new laptop. Dell Inspiron, of course. I gave Spring one of my other ones… oh, and bought myself an iPhone 7+ too, gave Spring my iPhone 5S. Been doing Starbucks for all adults almost daily – my biggest expense and necessary luxury! That’s the biggest highlights from the last two weeks. No writing, although getting ideas. Oh yeah, I’ve also been fighting a case of bronchitis since closing, too.

M’kay, I am so outtie….

Will I ever write again?

So I’m stressed, royally. On reviewing, I’m over 50 books now… just thought I’d mention that since my previous post was about some reviews, porn versus erotica. I checked with SNHU about possibly returning to school, working towards a BA in psychology to add to my current degree.

M’kay, I’ve kept this hush-hush… I was made an offer on my home that I felt I couldn’t turn down. Yeah, it’s officially Sunday now – closing is in two freakin’ days. Spring and family (Bill is such a hard worker!) have already moved all the big stuff – that I’m keeping – like my bedroom outfit, desks (I think I have four), bookcases (sheesh, six or seven I kept, two went to Goodwill and two went to Spring), couch and lazyboy rocker went to Spring, fridge (buyer wants to put a stainless steel one in, mine was black), and washer… the waterbed and matching oak dresser went to Goodwill, along with a very heavy desk and another couch.

Sounds okay so far, right? I still have a minimum of one trailer load of boxes to go into storage… yeah, every thing but my laptops, one desktop PC, and a couple of outfits, went into storage. Why? I have no clue where I’m gonna live. Hence, Stressville, U.S.A. I’m in a hotel for a week. Planned on doing house searches here which is why I kept the one desktop out… but, apparently the APC battery backup does NOT like the outlets here and keeps beeping. And my Collies are stressed enough without listening to the beeps. Sheesh, Stevie wouldn’t even walk upstairs to our room – sucks, btw – and had to be carried up by either Spring or D, I’m not sure who cause I was trying to get Luna to chill and quit whine/crying like she was injured. She’s scared. Both girls are, they’ve never been in a move before… I owned my home just shy of six years… Luna is five and Stevie is four. Add into the mix their alpha is stressed – moi’ – and we have semi-terrified dogs. *sighs*

I’m hungry. I’m sore. I’m exhausted. I need a shower. I was ready to cry when Spring and family went home. I hope sleeping in this king-size bed with me will help the girls chill out, cause I’m going to be in and out of the room from tomorrow on. Finishing up the house, closing, searching for a place to live… k, getting myself stressed again and watching Animal Planet was leveling me out. So, I am so outtie….


So I’m unsure how to change the privacy setting and make this area for me and not the public eye. Haven’t figured it out yet – other than to simply add more posts to kind of hide the ones that are deeply personal, bury them within babble more or less. One change I did make was for summaries instead of full text be the main view, although as Admin I, of course, still see the full text.

My daughter and eldest grand daughter moved a heavy desk for me; I haven’t really set it up, although the PC is plugged in again. I moved an empty bookcase to its new location, but only managed to clean it and put one item on it. Still need to move all of the books (and old software and DVDs and etc.) to it, but haven’t had the gumption to do so. Only thing I managed to move was my Aero Garden thingy… maybe I’ll check into buying seeds for it again. Eventually. At least it no longer holds layers upon layers of dust any more. That’s something, I suppose.

K, I am so outtie….

the first

During and after the election, I began researching what country it would be possible for me to move to.  now, while I am not a student of history, I do read and am capable of seeing patterns. Naturally, the majority of the countries I might be able to afford a move to and live in, are… well, repressed, fairly poor, and simply not known to love Americans. Expats or not. So I revised my search and found some different but usable alternatives in the country I’ve always loved but have never been able to visit. The search and my findings are all still open on my desktop….

I recently purchased one of those multi-movie DVDs of Paranormal Activity, movies one through five. After catching some sleep – I had been up all night, election night, per my usual routine – I began watching the movies. I understand why audiences were scared and/or creeped out, even though I was only somewhat interested and amused by the creativity. After finishing the movies, I stuck the first Jurassic Park movie in; I’m on the third in the series now. I logged onto Facebook once and saw various friends – and more – sending good-bye announcements, that they were slipping into silent mode as this country enters a new era… I followed suit.

I haven’t had many updates to my blog of late, although my recent typical routine has only been posting once or twice a month. I had been commenting to my daughter that what truly troubled me was my lack of inspiration and creativity, and inability to work on my novels. She had made a worthwhile critique to the Lynette/Lachlan story that I would like to incorporate; but, I need to finish the Allison/Robert story before I get back into the earlier work. I’ve tried to write more of Allison’s story, but it’s like I am straining for ideas, straining to reach my creativity. In an earlier post I had mentioned the disarray my house is currently in, due to a busted water pipe, and I’ve toyed with the idea that that could be the cause of my lack of creativity… well, daughter has done some of the work – enough that I can begin to put things near where they use to be. Or re-arrange, which I’m actually doing. But still no desire to write.

I’m not dreaming anymore, either. At least, I cannot recall any dreams or direct them as I once use to do. Most of my characters introduced themselves to me in my dreams, gave me a chance to get to know them and their stories so that I could write them. Even Phantom of the Opera has not been helping, and that, in my view, is quite bad. However, in the deepest part of my brain, some ideas have been trying to form. Truths.

I don’t want to leave America. Not because I have faith in my country or fellow man, because I don’t. Not anymore. No, for purely selfish reasons… my love of family, the need to be somewhat near them. Moving almost 4000 miles away would make it close to impossible to see my daughter and grand daughters, let alone the hope of ever repairing the damaged relationship with my son. I guess fear would be incorporated into this, as well… starting completely over in a new country at the age of 58, disabled, uncertain if my disability pay would follow… or continue, for that matter. You know, my daughter said it’s “only four years.” A deep, inner fear is that a huge change – for the worse – is in the making now.

I just began crying at the scene where the Navy and Marines arrive to rescue Dr. Grant’s party. I’m crying easier now and that’s not necessarily a good thing. All the lawsuits and criminal charges against Trump – will they just “go away” now that he’s the President elect? The sheep have spoken, the crazies run the asylum; I am so outtie….


So last Thursday I picked up a Ford Flex from Enterprise and headed to Cartersville to pick up my Ding-a-ling and family; after a speedy dinner [provided by Dingy] and loading the Flex, we got on the road for our long, long, long, l o n g trip to Fargo, ND. Hope kept us entertained with her singing and silly chatter while D totally embraced the ‘sullen teen’ persona – you know, the one that cannot associate with [blech!] family but must keep their nose pressed to the mobile screen viewing YouTube videos… unless money was being spent or goodies being purchased, then she was her usual cuddle-bunny-self! *grins* Ahh, teenagers, I remember them well… *glancing knowingly at Dingy*

I drove through the night until around 10a.m., then Dingy took over for the last 300 miles. We arrived in Fargo Friday afternoon, and we were all exhausted. We relaxed in our lovely room at the Hilton Garden Inn – meaning, the adults relaxed as Hope explored the room and D & Jonathan explored the hotel. Although, I think we were all asleep before nine [I fell asleep by 8:30!] Saturday, if memory serves [bear with me, I’m old *grins*] we all went swimming for a bit, used the whirlpool and relaxed until time to get ready for Jennie & Ryan’s wedding. Then we were shocked when Micah showed up! Micah and Bill really hit it off, and we had a chance to catch up some – which made us arrive late to the wedding! Ack! Micah said he was blaming me. Naturally, I blame Micah.

Jennie was a beautiful bride, the ceremony was quite lovely… pictures were taken, and then we were off to the reception. O.M.G. D was a dancing fool, hardly left the dance floor at all, and some of Jennie’s friends were pointing at her – trying to get the ones that didn’t know how to dance, to copy D’s example! So many people popped over to tell me how beautiful she is – she looked like a princess. And little Hope, in her pink leopard print dress was absolutely adorable! Had a great time catching up with family – oh yeah *giggles* when Dave was walking Patti down the aisle after the wedding ceremony and saw me, he screamed like a girl! We didn’t stay till the end, much to D’s dismay, because poor Hope was a walking zombie from sheer exhaustion… we left around 10 or so, and again all fell asleep pretty quickly. Dingy and family woke early and spent the day at the pool and fitness room – she was trying to give Mom some quiet time – and I did a tiny bit of computer work. Got Scrivener set up on both laptops, logged into school and greeted one of my peers, downloaded pertinent classroom data, things like that. Also got one of the novel’s I’m working on set up in Scrivener.

Dave, Patti, Jennie, Ryan & Jon surprised us with a visit to our room, and we made arrangements to meet them for dinner after we visited for a half hour. Had a nice dinner, lots of talking and catching up and tons of hugs when dinner was done… we went back to the hotel for more relaxation and swimming after dinner. Monday we packed up and were checked out, on the road by noon.

Broke down in St. Cloud, MN and the Enterprise there totally sucked! Accused us of smoking in the car, said the Dallas office where I rented the Flex were horrid and gave me a dangerous vehicle [they did not! The Dallas branch is Awesome!!] Idiots cost us almost 3-hours in lost time before we finally got a replacement vehicle [2015 Suburban – roomy, decent gas mileage, but none of the luxuries we had in the Flex, like Sirius radio] and had all of us angry as all get out at Enterprise – thanks to the manager there.

So, here it is 8:30 Tuesday night and I’m home and in my pj’s. I turned the vehicle in a day early, let my Dallas office know how St. Cloud bad-mouthed them, got my girls [Luna cried!!!!] and got my electronic’s unpacked… nothing else, though. Trying to stay up a bit longer to get closer to my normal routine, but all-in-all, it was a fun trip and we all enjoyed it.

Now, need to get a few more things done so I am so outtie….


Yesterday, Dingy and family came over early – Dingy was going to court with me, as support, while my favorite son-in-law mowed my yard [and oh my gosh it looks good!] and installed my new security door knobs – real pretty ones, too.

Dingy and I left for court; I got pulled over right across the street from the courthouse. Apparently during the beginning of James’ craziness and Mommy Dearest’s initial attacks, I inadvertently forgot to renew my tags. Well shit, I’ve been driving on expired plates for seven months! :^O  So I got to court 20-minutes late. No biggie, since Mommy Dearest’s attorney was over two and a half hours late! Dingy had to change an appointment for D, because she didn’t want me to sit there alone.

The GaL said we could leave at noon, but be back by 2:30 and my portion would be heard. So Dingy and I went home and ate lunch with the family. Saw rain was moving in when we were about halfway back to courthouse; it rained like cats and dogs, it was a bit difficult to see but we made it safely and only three minutes late – both of us soaked to the gills. I felt so guilty at 4 when I realized D was coming home from school to no one there – Dingy and I were still waiting for the case to be called. We also noticed Mommy Dearest wasn’t there for the afternoon session, as well.

I was finally called back at five, and believe me I felt guilty for tying Dingy and family up for the entire day! The DFCS attorney was asking for a 3-month continuance, and the case workers were not pleased by this, and asking that everything remain the same excluding a need for new attorney’s to represent Phillip, Joe and James. It seems this was a ‘special hearing’ to terminate all parental rights. The DFCS attorney also mentioned another child had attempted to commit suicide – little Bella tried to kill herself! Man, I feel so sick… James almost succeeded, now Bella… they are both in mental institutions.

Long and short of it, I dropped a suitcase of Joe’s clothes off at DFCS; Judge once again thanked me for trying to help children not related to me, and granted my wish to not be Joe’s guardian any longer; GaL said he’d stay in contact with me and I stated the same and hugged him. Mommy Dearest’s attorney was visibly surprised when I stated the GaL was correct, I plan to list my home for sale and move because I cannot tolerate living in the same state as that woman anymore. The damage she has done to her own children, and my family, is unforgiveable.

DFCS said they will likely initiate an investigation into S and his custody of Squishy, since he is allowing Mommy Dearest unfettered contact with the baby. They said I will likely be the first contact – no matter where I am living – to get Squish to safety. Dingy will likely be the second contact, as his only ‘normal’ [i.e. no mental illnesses in family] blood relative after me.

My tag was renewed. Truck passed emissions with no problem. Purchased new headlights because driver’s side is burnt out. Filled the truck. Came home and played with the dogs; they were acting closer to normal, they know mommy isn’t stressed anymore – even though I do have a ticket to pay for the expired tags [$169, best I can figure out – ouch!] and we ate dinner. Texted with Dingy off and on for a bit; now, back to schoolwork. I’ll finish packing Joe’s crap later.

For now, feeling a bit more relaxed, so I am so outtie….

update part deux, too

So I’ve gotten a few phone calls from DFCS concerning Joe. They have been informed I plan to rescind my custody on Thursday and tell me I do not need to go to NC to pick him up, especially since they will have custody in two days. They once again thanked me for all I had tried to do with these kids and apologized I had had such an awful experience with Mommy Dearest’s children.

Right now their plan is to have a transporter go pick Phillip up, and leave Joe there – apparently with NC’s blessing – until after the hearing on Thursday. Then another transporter will go pick him up. He should be miserable without his brother, Internet, and no Mommy Dearest contact for a few days… totally alone. I hope he looks back and tries to appreciate what he had here – he always did, until Mommy Dearest started phoning and texting so much.  Poor kid.

Oh yeah, also roughly another $150 poorer – purchase of new security, keyed entry door knobs for my house!

I’m outtie….

update part deux

So I got an email from the GaL, Mr. Daniel, stating he sent a Notice to the Court to revisit Joe’s placement with me; I go to Court this Thursday at 9a.m. Dingy is going with me, for support. I spoke with several people in NC – where Joe is being held, and they assure me they have it on record that I attempted to do my legal duty to pick Joe up – but as they have him listed as in the custody of DFCS and not me, they are waiting to hear from a GA official concerning his release. The GaL is hoping the DFCS transporter will pick up Joe as well, instead of me incurring the expense, especially since I plan to have my custody of him revoked. I have no clue what lies Mommy Dearest will spit out on Thursday, but I have been making sure to stay in contact with all legal authorities. Hopefully I’ll be okay and only come out of this with the ongoing financial ding, and the new hardening of my heart towards helping others. *frowns*

Once Joe is no longer in my custody, I will log onto Facebook and block every single member of Mommy Dearest’s family from my account, and then send a brief message to my family members concerning everything she has done to me – they can block or not, as they wish, but I will warn them. Then I will block S&S on my telephone; S is not the son I thought he was, and as much as it hurts, I do not want him in my life while he is connected with that viper.

Hopefully any future ‘Family Matters’ updates will be fun and positive ones, after Thursday. I do not plan to update my blog again, until Thursday at the earliest – I have homework to do. I’m also hopeful that future updates will be concerning the material this blog was originally created for – writing.

Until then, I am so outtie….


I hesitated to update, hence no posts for what, six days now? So last Sunday, the 23rd, I went to bed after 3a.m. and woke up at 8:15a.m. Monday morning. My last post on Monday sort of covers Joe leaving again, I guess, but not all of the phone calls and running around I had to do. So Monday I went to Juvenile Court and filed for a runaway warrant – they included the previous two attempts on the same warrant. I’m getting phone calls from cops, asking if I’ve found him yet, from Monday through Wednesday; I get a phone call from DFCS asking me if I was aware Joe had been found – realized she was talking about the Chattanooga pickup and told her she was way behind times; spoke with Sheriff’s, Social Worker’s, and psychologists – told them all he was still gone, no new word and I would contact them if I heard anything.

S phones me to get an ‘update’ from me, he was actually pumping me for information. I gave him only what I was willing to share. When he realized I wasn’t going to simply spill everything, he hung up and didn’t call back. I was already aware Phillip had run with Joe this time, S begrudgingly told me Phillip had left a note for Mommy Dearest and his foster mother stating he was moving to California to live with Jade.

Joe took all of his game disc’s with him, presumably to sell for cash… he also took the first disc of season four of my True Blood series! Didn’t take any cash from me this time, but who knows what else he stole from me… *sighs* It’s been six days and Goddess help me, I hoped he made it to Canada so I could easily get his custody rescinded. I am sick and tired of the upheaval and drama from him and his mother! Been a bit difficult to concentrate and get back into the swing of things at school, but fortunately I was actually ahead on homework.

I get the dreaded phone call around 5p.m. today – he’s been picked up and I need to come get him. This time he made it to Beaufort, NC – over eight hours away! Beaufort Sheriff transfers him – and Phillip – to the juvenile detention center in Greenville, NC – still a seven hour drive. Dingy is making the calls to NC for me, while I am phoning our local Sheriff to give them the update; local PD states Joe is ‘missing’ and there is no runaway warrant. I argued with her about that, cause I filled the paperwork out on Monday [the 24th] and the sympathetic court guy ran it right up to be signed by a Judge while I was still there.

So I’m worrying about the cost to pick him up; had to pay around $100 last weekend for the Chattanooga pickup and that’s only two hours away. How much is this one going to cost me? And you know damn well he’s going to run again. I live on a fixed income, disability retirement – my son earns six figures annually. So Dingy called him to see if he’d help me out with the finances for gas. His response? I need to cancel my planned trip and use that money to pay for the pickup. The first trip I’ve planned in years, mind you… I told Dingy it’s been over twenty years since I planned my weekend dog show trips; it’s been twelve years since my last ‘fun’ family trip – back to Toledo for my Mom’s 75th birthday party. My planned trip next month is to go to North Dakota for my niece’s wedding, meet her husband and see members of my family I haven’t seen in over a decade. But S feels I should cancel that to use the funds to once again pick up Mommy Dearest’s problem child… oh, and he says he ‘tried to prevent all of this.’ I call bullshit!

I wrote the GaL an email and asked him to submit a petition to rescind my custody. I can’t deal with this anymore, nor can I afford it. I also informed him I planned on placing my home up for sale as soon as Joe was no longer in my custody, that I cannot stand living in the same State Mommy Dearest lives in. I told him I do believe my grandson, Squishy, will eventually wind up back in DFCS custody [since Mommy Dearest is his main caregiver], and as his biological grandmother I would be willing to take him so I will keep him apprised of my current contact information at all times. Once Joe is removed from my custody, I will block everyone of those people from my Facebook, and telephone. Including my own son. He’s gone.

I have prophetic dreams at times; back when he was arrested, I had a few dreams of him in prison. Perhaps they were a warning of things to come. I love my son, but this person living with Mommy Dearest is not him. He’s as nuts as she is.

I’m so outtie….

no time

I had no time to post over the weekend, but Joe was picked up in Chattanooga, TN on Friday. The Sheriff called me while I was downtown at Juvenile Court filling out the run away warrant paperwork. The warrant was cancelled, obviously, but I requested we continue on with a court appearance since they will assign a probation officer, and I figure that can only help me. So Dingy, the girls and Jonathan went with me to pick Joe up, and D asked to spend the night – she wanted to make sure I was safe.

Joe spent half of my money, drank all the Cokes, I later found out he stole two decorative lighters too – they were thrown away by the police. We went in Dingy’s truck since mine is acting up; so I paid for gas and dinner for everyone. By the time Joe was processed into the juvenile facility and they phoned that I could pick him up, it was dinner time – we got there about 7:30p.m. D, Joe and I got home around 11 – he went straight to his room, came out a few minutes later and asked if he could use the WiFi. I told him no, consider yourself grounded.

The next morning, I heard him get up and eat breakfast, go to the alarm panel and check to see if it was armed – it wasn’t – then I heard the sliding glass door open. I jumped up and came to see what he was doing and found a note on the floor, “You can go to the party I’m staying at a friends house for a day PS. Joe“. I ran out the backdoor and yelled for him, then heard a car peel out of my driveway. I did not see the car. So I went inside and called the police. Two officers arrived to take a report; the female officer didn’t seem to understand the problem, she kept saying – but he left a note. The male officer understood – he did not ask my permission, he just left; it didn’t matter if he left a note or not, he did not ask my permission and it was just a few hours after I had to drive to TN to pick him up from the detention center.

Apparently Joe has a police scanner app on his phone, because just as the officers gave me the case number, he came running – from the direction of S’s house [I was positive it was Mommy Dearest that peeled out of my driveway]. He was disrespectful to the police, cursing at them and ended up needing to be restrained at one point. He was kicking my door until the female officer opened the door and the male shoved him inside the house. I heard Joe punch a wall.

I made him go with me to the party – it was my 3-year-old granddaughter’s birthday party. I told Joe he was to stay in my line of sight at all times. If I could not see him I would not look for him, I would simply call the police; he was told to be polite or not talk at all; he was to tell the baby ‘Happy Birthday’ nicely, since she is not aware of what is going on. Jonathan let me know that Joe told him he’s planning on running again. Over the weekend, Jonathan got further information that he planned on leaving Friday with his brother Phillip, that their father was sending $1000 to Phillip to buy bus fare for the two of them. Now, although he’s grounded, I did tell him if he went to school and did not skip he could talk to Phillip today when he gets home.

I rushed to finished what I was writing because the school police officer just called to let me know Joe is not in school, again. He has skipped first and second period so far, the social worker I am working with is double checking and going to go to each classroom to check herself, to be safe. The school officer advised me to call the police and report him again, but wait till the social worker calls me back. I had sent the social worker and the GaL [Mr. Daniels] a lengthy email detailing what happened over the weekend, including the information Jonathan gave me. I ended with stating I knew he would run away again. He did.

I’m outtie….