K, it’s only been Monday for twenty minutes, and I’m actually going to be writing about Sunday. Got it? Earlier today Joe asked if he could go for a jog; I told him sure, I was doing homework any ways, and to enjoy himself. I’m not sure what time he left, but it was well before dinner time – which we tend to eat around 7-8p.m. After awhile I realize I’m getting hungry, so put dinner on to cook; the meal takes an hour to bake, so I figure Joe will be home and I’ll be full-on hungry by the time it’s ready. I get a text about a half hour later from Joe, saying he’s heading back. Cool. I text him back an okay, and that dinner will be ready in about 45-minutes.
Forty-five minutes later I dish out dinner – Joe still isn’t home, so I set his dish to the side on the counter and sit down to eat. About fifteen minutes later I hear him moving the trashcan to the curb, and he comes in. I yell at the girls to quit jumping on him while Joe tells the person on the phone that Grammy is yelling at the dogs to quit jumping on him and not yelling at him. I continue eating my dinner, watching a movie on Netflix, while Joe heads to his room to finish his phone call. He comes out to ask if he can talk to me later about possibly meeting up with Cierra next Sunday, I tell him we can talk.
K, enough of the [essentially] minute-by-minute break down. Here’s the jist of our convo… Joe wants to go to church with Cierra and her family next Sunday, possibly stay for dinner as well. I tell him okay as long as I meet Cierra’s mother first, and they provide all transportation – I am not taking him to Cartersville or picking him up. And, he’s not allowed to be picked up on Saturday and spend the night for their ease, I do not approve of male/female sleep over’s, period. He seems genuinely surprised by that but I am adamant. He says it shouldn’t be a problem but he’ll keep me informed as they work out the details. He then rambles on a bit and says he doesn’t know why he had convinced himself that I was overly harsh with him and not allowing him to live a normal teenagers life. He said that after talking to others, he finally realizes I’m actually pretty darn lenient with him. Uh, I know, and tell him S & Dingy have even commented that I allow Joe to do more than they were ever allowed to do.
Next he tells me he’s going to have a serious talk with S because, no offense, he’s got some real problems. Uh, I do take offense, thankyouverymuch. [The parts about S&S are going to be somewhat jumbled, cause that’s the way he said it to me, so apologies. And yes, the feminine S is also known as Mommy Dearest here on my blog.] Oh, allow me to backtrack a bit here, first… on Saturday, Joe asked if I could take him to his Mom’s apartment – I said it shouldn’t be a problem, just let me know when she gets there cause they, S&S, always run late and I’m not going to drive over and sit in the driveway waiting for possibly hours. In fact, I reminded him they were over a half hour late for Squishy’s birthday party – that they organized. He tells me his mom had been sick, then Squishy caught it and now S has it and she’s just tired of dealing with them both and wants a break from Squish and S – but would like to spend time with Joe. Uh-huh. So it never happens; Joe tells me apparently S is saying they’ll all go over to her apartment if she wants to go over and clean it so badly, he says his mom was pretty pissed off that she can’t go over to her own apartment and have some private time.
Okay, back to today… so he tells me he met his mom for the jog and tells me the route they went, and that they stopped at some park so Squishy could play. Then Joe gets all indignant and says they spotted S driving by, twice, spying on them… that S had wanted Mommy Dearest to get her driver’s license, but now is against it… that Mommy Dearest is not allowed to go anywhere without S… that any problems with their relationship are due to Philio and Joe and Jade, etc. Mommy Dearest apparently has inferred that S is afraid of Joe – an adult male afraid of a fifteen year old boy. So Joe says he’s going to have a serious discussion with S and the way he’s treating his mother.
I told Joe he will not talk to S about their relationship because frankly, it’s none of his damn business. I reminded him about how upset he got when Mommy Dearest and Jade interfered in his relationship with Laurel and the awful results of that interference [like S and I not really speaking to one another, for one thing]. I could see on his face that that made sense to him, cause when I first told him not to talk to S, he got a stubborn, pissed off look on his face. I asked him if his mother was the one that gave him all this information about S essentially keeping her a prisoner, and he said he saw the texts… I told him that was wrong on many levels, that she should not be talking to him – her child – about her relationship issues with her adult boyfriend… he said he got the impression that she just needed someone to talk to and I reminded him that that is what all of her counselors are for, that it was inappropriate for her to be discussing it with him. And I told him I’ve said the same thing to her face – which is partly why she’s blocked me on Facebook, etc. But she chooses to tell her counselors that life is grand and she doesn’t have any problems or issues – but S does – all so they’ll give a ‘good report’ about her mental health to the courts. And she continues banging her head against walls and expecting the walls to crumble.
He then changes tactics and says he does want to talk to S about whatever his issue is with him, he wants to tell S not to be afraid of him… I tell him S is not afraid of him, and even though I haven’t spoken to S for a while, I do know him well enough to state he is not afraid of Joe. Joe then explains that he wants S to start living a life and not just go to work and watch documentaries, to go for hikes and make friends… to actually live a life. I tell him that conversation will not happen, that it is not his right to judge how S lives his life, period. Again, these are things I have heard Mommy Dearest say over and over again – she’s planted them in Joe’s head now and made him her knight to represent her in ‘fixing’ S to what will make her happy.
I told Joe that his belief that S is not living a happy life is his opinion only, that that may not be how S sees it. Joe says S&S are having a lot of relationship problems now because of this, but that S is blaming it on Mommy Dearest wanting to see Joe & Philio. I call bullshit on that, btw. I again repeat that whatever issues S&S are having with their relationship, is none of his damn business and Mommy Dearest is wrong for bringing them to Joe. He tries to mention S being afraid of him once again and I interrupt to ask – if S is so afraid of you, why is he willing to let you come stay at his house for the week I am out of town? He gets a surprised look on his face and said he hadn’t thought about that….
Son, your chosen mate is playing mind games with her children, damaging them even more than they were to start with. She is telling them lies about you and they are taking them at face level cause hey, mom said so… she had been playing mind games with me, until I finally tossed the Kool-Aid out after James was gone. I see her now – you still don’t. Stop drinking the damn Kool-Aid, son! Didn’t you see how Squishy acted towards me at his birthday party? Mommy Dearest is playing mind games with your three-year-old; it is not because I hadn’t seen him for six weeks before his party. I’ve gone longer between visits with Hope and she always recognizes me, knows I am her Grammy, so the length of time since I saw him last isn’t the reason he acted like he did… he’s been told things about Grammy and I’m certain Mommy Dearest is making sure they are all mean rotten things. Son, please… open your eyes so that you can see, the truth that will finally set you free….
I am so outtie….