Day Eleven

I counted what I had left in yesterday’s pack of smokes, when I started my day. Seven cigarettes. I think I’m back on track now, from the credit card stuff. Still watching those accounts, by the way, but so far, those deposits are still on the cards, four days later. If I forgot to mention it on here, I’m changing my quit date due to that previous uproar and the heavy smoking throughout that time period. When I was picking my date, I actually thought of the fifteenth, first. That date has a tiny bit more meaning for me, versus the tenth. My stepfather’s birthday was the fourteenth, and I don’t remember how we started this, but he would always wish me a happy birthday, the day before my birthday, and I would then wish him a happy birthday, the day after his birthday. The fifteenth makes me think of Don. I think I picked the tenth by counting how many packs of cigarettes I had left in the carton and trying not to purchase anymore. So, there’s that.

I ran with Daughter to pick granddaughter up from work, and to do some grocery shopping around 3:00. I smoked more while in the truck with them, than I would have wanted. They both smoke; they don’t smoke in the main house because mother-in-law has moved in and she’s on oxygen. So, when they’re outside, or with me, they chain smoke. *sighs* I smoked three cigarettes while I was with them, alone. But, on a positive note, I’ve only smoked two cigarettes in the three and a half hours I’ve been home. Since my night is not over, I still have to walk my girls and bring Cooper in – plus give him at least thirty minutes of “Mommy time” where I focus on him alone. I tend to walk the girls around 8:30-9:00 so that Cooper’s time – I have given him an hour or longer, depending on his behavior – is wrapped up around 10:00. That way I have some time for just me, when I knit or whatever, before I go to sleep. Since I had COVID-19 in early August, I’ve found myself getting tired and falling asleep between 11:00 and midnight. Before COVID, I was up till anywhere between 1:00-3:00am and able to get up with my alarm in the morning.

K, seems like this is turning into a bit of a diary and that wasn’t my intention. So, back to smoking-related stuff. I didn’t notice any jitters today, so that’s a good thing. Oh! And for the first time in years, I was up, done with my morning routine and drinking coffee for a whole hour before I lit my first cigarette. That’s actually pretty huge for me so I’m feeling pretty proud of that. It’s about time to start walking my dogs, so I am so outtie….