K, I gave more info, but the reasoning behind my writer’s block – and the very reason for this blog – is still as clear as mud, right? Right. Well, that’s a bit of a painful story to share, although I do put it into words a bit here.
Hmm, it’s beginning to look like there’s a method to my scattered diatribe! I was writing various pieces of fiction, regularly, as well as adding to a novel I was working on. The novel, btw, is gone. Through no fault of my own, mind you. I mean, I didn’t just look at it one day and say blech! and delete it. Oh no… I had a hard drive burn out, followed by a motherboard burn out, followed by my OWN home being burned to the ground… hence, no novel. I had had “hard copies” of course, as well as floppy’s of the story – just in case I ever lost what was on my ‘puter. Well, the fire destroyed those, obviously.
But I digress, I believe… let’s briefly go back to 2 years ago. My very best friend in all the world, my closest confidant and allie for the previous 11 years, was my dog Lady. Her AKC name was Sterling’s Lovely Lady, and she was the foundation to my breeding program; dam of CH. Sterling’s Lovely Odds and several Certified Hearing Dogs for the Deaf; a therapy dog, accompanying me to work for pet therapy visits; self-taught service dog, helping me as my physical condition worsened.
When my ex-louse had his first heart attack, it was Lady who tried to bolster my spirits… when the ex-louse resumed his former mental and emotional abuse to my kids and myself, it was Lady who tried to protect us – even though she loved him in a way, or perhaps she felt sorry for him – as a good therapy dog sometimes does. She knew my every secret, and guarded them well… there is no one on this Earth, that comes close to knowing me, as well as Lady did.
Then, the unthinkable happened. Lady’s mate, Champ, died very suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack, on June1, 1998. Lady & I both mourned this loss, tremendously. Champ was a little whirlwind, a windup toy of a dog, with a heart as big as a Great Dane. Lady never bounced back from this loss. Now, she was acting old. Sure, at 10 she was a senior citizen – but – Shelties oft live to be 14-15, with some living till they’re 18. I thought I had years with both dogs, yet. Champ was only 9 when he crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Sorry… I’m crying… just visited them once again at the Petloss site…
About a week after we lost Champ, I noticed a lump above Lady’s left eye. It was diagnosed as a brain tumor. One vet felt she was suffering, hanging onto life simply to be near me. Me! Another vet felt she might not be suffering yet, but would be soon. The lump was roughly the size of a huge golfball, or a small tennis ball. She had given me so much, her entire life… I couldn’t allow her to suffer. So on June 26, 1998, I sent her across the Bridge. I held her close as the drug began working… she fought it long enough to turn her head, and try to give my hand one last kiss… she didn’t quite make it, the drug is very fast acting to help fend off any pain.
To say a part of me died that day, is by no means an exaggeration. I miss her as much today, as the day I sent her across the Bridge.
I haven’t written a decent piece, since….